sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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