make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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