do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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