Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
