I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
