Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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