There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
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