How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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