I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
