The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
BRING THE BAGELS
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