My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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