Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
did i walk over a car last night?
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
