it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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