This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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