she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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