dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
