I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Fuck me I smell like cheese
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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