you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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