if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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