She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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