I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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