i permit you to call me
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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