When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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