So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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