Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
