I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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