Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
