I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Randomize
