Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
He? As in you personified your dick?
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
