I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Randomize
