remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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