new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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