I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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