I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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