why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
