it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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