yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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