why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
