I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Never joke about your clitoris.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
