she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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