i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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