Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
