I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Randomize
