dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Randomize
