You're a womanizer and a bitch.
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
