Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
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