Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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