Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Randomize
