I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
This toilet bowl is my home.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
