i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
