Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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