So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
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