there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
