So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I'm at about main and main street
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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