I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Randomize
