I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
