Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
