I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
only you would photoshop your dick
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
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