I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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